feelings

Since this is my blog site and we are living in a free country, Haha. whatever! What I wanted to say is that... I am free to write and say anything I wanted to say in here. If you got hit by my words then I am sorry for you being that guilty of yourself. So I will be talking about

Feeling
There two kinds of feelings. One is the physical and the other one is emotional. Let us talk about the latter one. :-) Feeling is the nominalization of "to feel". One of the most feelings I hate to feel is Awful. You feel awful because someone made you feel that feeling. And that specific someone made you feel Pissed as well. I want to tell you my story being both. I was seriously feeling awful not because someone made me feel that way but because I was disappointed with myself and I felt awful leaving my co-workers on a weekends and letting them feel exhausted cos they have to exert too much effort and do double jobs just because I am not there to share the job and work with them. Yes, I am talking about my absences last Saturday and Sunday. But as someone who is suppose to be and should be "professional" should not talk about false things about me and my reason behind my back and in front of my co-workers. I can seriously and sincerely understand if ever I do get an IVR to answer. But not a blue book full of hates and bitterness from that suppose-to-be "professional" someone. Right? Say it straight to my face. Your hates and bitterness I can absorb and understand it in that way.

You know when I'm seriously mad and disappointed and upset to someone I can't even talk to her. I can't even look straight into her eyes without throwing that hate look. And when I'm seriously upset, do not force me to talk about my feelings cos trust me, you are not gonna like what I'm going to say. A lot of people already witnessed me being like that. Just being mad quietly because I know, in my heart, It would be better and safe that way. I am not plastic nor a two-faced person. I express how I feel, I don't talk or do something that is highly against my will.

I just can't entrust my feeling with you to open up and speak up to tell you what really is the matter.

I felt bad on the other hand, for her. I know I made her feel bad as well by not communicating to her that well and left her with a big question mark of 'why'. Not to mention the fits I've threw. I even looked into her eyes with that sincerely mad look. I am, really.

You know what, It's always been me and my ego of why bother explaining your side when there is no understanding involve, yeah? I never wanted to waste saliva for a non-sense conversation when I can use it for kissing. (that's a joke)

My bottom line is... you don't really have to dug deep over someone's personal life especially when you are someone who is not trustworthy. Be professional. Mind the business not the people. and for general, you should not degrade, underestimate and intentionally put them down. Study interpersonal skills. I highly request that.