Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I am what my parents named me.

I just can't stop her from growing up. If only I am capable of doing it, I will with no hesitation or I will let her grow old slowly. But reality speaking, she grows up too fast I can't catch up sometimes. Sooner she'll turn 1 year old. Just a two months away from now. I just want her to stop from growing for a while and be that innocent one that gives me an honest affection and depends on me. The one I can cuddle without chasing her first. Sooner or later, she'll learn how to walk and run and be that makulit baby of mine.

Ever since I got her, my life has changed. It's like having my pathetic life forced into something worth. I need to be responsible now. All my actions and decisions in life should always be the right one. Because everything now has something to do with her and will might affect her. She's everything to and Archie. It's like having the whole world inside of our arms.

I remember those months where Archie and I were debating on what to name our baby girl. It may sound lame that we come up with her name "Ashley Gail" from the internet but no, we make sure that the name has its meaning that is related to us. We thought of naming her something that is meaningful. 

ASHLEY - is an Old English appellation meaning "of the ash tree". Again, it may sound non-sense but ash tree in Celtic literature symbolizes healing - I'd rather keep it to myself on which part of my family's lives where healed the moment I gave birth to Ashley. All I can say is that I am healed in all aspects and views I have for life. Especially transformation - long term transformation, in our lives, our dreams, our plans. everything has changed even at the time that she was still inside me. and empowerment in matters of life -I guess everything I do now always involves Ashley. She is the one who has the authority to say yes or no without doing anything nor saying anything. Every little thing to decide, I always have to think of how will it affect Ashley. Will it do good to her or not. In this sense, application of force to destiny may bring peace through resolution of a conflict - which would be seen as healing.

The Ash was seen as the feminine counterpart to the All-Father tree, the Oak:
"In these, two trees the oak and the ash, the concepts of the All-Father and the all-embracing world mother found the widest lodging. They are still found by many to be deeply symbolic and meaningful"

GAIL - comes from the name Abigail means "father's joy" from the Hebrew "abba" (father) and Latin "gail" (joy) We decided to give her the name "gail" for her second name since she's not going to be her Father's joy but to everyone she'll be and she is right now. 

It was hard naming your baby. I have had tons of ideas and meanings I wanted. I'm happy we named her Ashley Gail. They say that, whatever the meaning of your baby's name or whoever you named her after will be eventually her when she grows up. Like when you name her with a meaning of "pretty" "witty" etc. At least for me it is. :-) She heals every pain I have, whenever I feel exhausted, she simply takes away the feeling with her toothless smile. She transformed me or more like changed me into a better and responsible person that now values life and future more than anything else. She brings so much joy not only to me and Archie but to our Family. I am so blessed that she is my daughter. 

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